Have you ever smelled the permeating lies that bounce so eloquently off of a once formidable tongue? Lies so bedazzling, like a fraudulent song bird, a delicate musical interlude, interrupted.
Dancing. Floating. Dripping off supple, sultry lips.
Lies so impenetrable. Impermeable. Happenstance halts, “Could this beckon truth?!” False. Fictional. Fibs structured as concrete, blown over in a tiny gust of wind. Or a sneeze. Gross.
Case and point. Point after pathetic poetic point.
Microfractures in a literary sediment become volcanic, hyperbolic cracks. Intoxicating magma.
Tell me lies, beautiful stranger.
You wanna know a good lie? Mashed cauliflower.
The first time I had it, I was told, “It’s just as good as mashed potatoes.” This is a down right cruel joke to play on someone. Never once in the history of life has that tasteless, despicable cruciferous ever likened itself to the renowned spud.
Until now.
I’m gonna hit you straight.
This is not healthy cauliflower; gluten free, low carb and masking itself for skinny girl likes in the far fetched victory of attempting to be a yam.
BUT THIS IS; truffle mashed cauliflower, drenched in a Greek yogurt and buttery cloak.
Takes 45 min + marinating time; Feeds 4
Ingredients/Method for Truffle Mashed Cauliflower
- 2 heads cauliflower, cut into small florets
- 10 cups water + 3 tbsp salt
- 1/2 cup full fat greek yogurt
- 1/3 cup 2% milk
- 2 tbsp salted butter
- 2 tsp ground black pepper
- 1 tsp fresh thyme, minced
- 2 tsp truffle oil (or 1 tbsp truffle butter)
- Salt to taste
Boil the water and salt. Add the florets. Boil for 12-15 min, until they are tender.
Drain florets, reserving 1 cup of cauliflower water. Put the florets back in the hot pot.
Add the milk, yogurt, butter, truffle oil/butter, salt and pepper. Using a hand mixer, blend this until smooth. Add extra starchy water if you need it.
Taste and adjust seasoning and add thyme.
Ingredients/Method for Chicken Marinade
- 4 chicken breasts cut into strips
- 1 cup buttermilk (or 1 cup 2% milk with juice of half a lemon)
- 1/3 cup full fat Greek yogurt
- 1/3 cup full fat sour cream
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tsp onion powder
- large pinch of salt
- 4 cups canola oil
Mix all the above ingredients together (except canola oil) and cover. Marinate in fridge for at least 4 hours.
Ingredients/Method for Chicken Seasoning Batter and Preparation
- 1 1/2 cups panko
- 1/3 cup corn starch
- 2 large pinches of salt (about 1 tbsp)
- 1 tbsp paprika
- 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
Mix all batter ingredients in a large bowl and set aside until ready for use.
When ready to cook, heat canola oil on stove. Pre heat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.
Dredge each piece of marinated chicken in the seasoning mix and fry on all sides – about 2 min per side. Place chicken on a parchment paper lined baking tray and bake for 15 min.
Ingredients/Method for Hot Hot Honey
- 1/3 cup good honey – I used raw Washington state honey
- 1 tbsp Louisiana hot sauce
- Juice of half a lemon
When ready to eat, microwave the honey for 20-30 seconds. Remove and add the hot sauce and lemon. Mix. Serve over the chicken.
The chicken is crisp and tender.
The honey is spicy and sweet.
The cauliflower is not a potato. It is not even trying to be. But it is delicious.
And I do not lie.
Don’t believe me? Here are a few other recipes that might restore your faith:
- Homemade Insanity Crunch Wraps
- Rigatoni with Chicken Sausage and Drunken Pepper Sauce
- Chicken Poblano Tortilla Soup
- Pomegranate and Raspberry Bread Pudding
You are truly amazing!!!!
Author
Thank you:)