I remember being drenched with sweat in the frigid freezer…The morgue. The coroners lair. The morbidly grotesque and morbidly obese butcher stood too close to me; wearing a leather, sanguine splotched smock. He held an axe and he dripped sinister. It’s possible to do. Get hit with the drip of a creepy vibe – you feel me? Like in the movies when you see murderers get that crazed look in their eye? His eyes. Indigo and knowing nothing but blood thirst.
Pure distrust was filling up my wobbling brim. I felt drowsy. The body of a 26-year-old construction worker lay on a metal postmortem table; purple with a petechiae pencilled face. All the blood, trapped in his chest, shoulders and head. The rest of him; colorless. He was crushed by two giant pieces of sheetrock. Still wearing his boots and wedding band.
They started the autopsy. A middle aged, spit wielding doctor wore a white coat riddled with faded, yellow stains and thick, slicked back hair. (Which made me question his professionalism…and launderer.) He gave a communist-like head nod and the butcher started down a Y-shaped incision. One by one, each of the ingredients of a former life, flung into solitary plastic buckets. Poked, prodded, until there was nothing but a shell.
Then came out – the saw. All I remember was the sound of a tongue, flopping backward into an empty skull. I hit the floor. Cracking my noggin, too, but avoiding an all too unnecessary gore spill. I vasovagaled.
He handed me juice, the butcher, starring down at me, piercing me intently with his corrupt cobalt cast. I knew it was poison, but if I didn’t drink, it would be certain death.
Turned out to be apple juice. And crackers.
All good stuff for a food blog, right? You’re still reading aren’t you?
Turns out you don’t know how it’s gonna turn out. Recipes, Days, Nights, Relationships…Life.
So with that sentiment in mind, let’s eat deliciously, while we still can.
This calls for pulled pork. And wine. The good wine.
Takes 2.5 hrs; Feeds 8
Ingredients and Method for Pulled Pork (this takes 2+ hrs so do this first:)
- 4lb pork butt (shoulder) cut into large cubes, removing the gristle and some of the fat ~ 2inx2inx2in cubes
- 1/3 canola or high heat oil
- 3 tbsp maldon salt
- 1/2 -2/3 can pale ale
- 1 shallot, rough chop
- 1 tbsp ground garlic
- 1 tbsp ground mustard
- Black pepper
- 8 buns
Preheat oven to 300F.
In a large dutch oven on the stove top, get the canola oil very hot. Season the chunks of pork with a heavy hand of the maldon salt and sear in 1 layer, just to get a golden crust on each piece. Season the other side with a lot of the salt too. This will take about 2-3 min/side. If you have more pork than fits in the pot in 1 layer, fry in batches. This step is not to cook the meat through, just to get some porky flavor! Do not throw away the pork juices.
Ok, place all the pork cubes in a large baking dish and sprinkle shallot over the top. Drizzle with all the pork juice from the dutch oven too. Now season the top with the garlic, mustard and black pepper and toss.
Fill the dish with the pale ale, until the cubes are covered about half way up.
Cover the dish tightly with 2 sheets of foil and place in oven for 1 hr. Go make the brussel sprout slaw now> See below:)
After the hour, flip the cubes, cover the dish again and back in for another hour.
After the second hour, flip the cubes again and cover the dish. Turn the oven off and return the pan to it while you are assembling your dish. We will put this all together below…
Ingredients and Method for Brussel Sprout Slaw
- 8-10 large brussel sprouts, ends and outer leaves removed
- 1 shallot
- 1 tbsp good olive oil
- 1/2 tbsp white sugar
- 1 tbsp white wine vinegar
- 3 tbsp mayonaise
- Salt
- Parsley for garnish
In a food processor, shred the sprouts and shallot.
Add to a mixing bowl and pour in sugar, vinegar and a pinch of salt. Mix well and taste.
Add mayo and adjust seasoning. Remember the BBQ sauce is spicy and sweet so you want the slaw to be a complementor.
Refrigerate while the pork cooks.
Ingredients and Method for Cherry Amaretto BBQ Sauce
- 1/2 cup good ketchup
- 1/2 cup water
- 2 tbsp Amarena cherry juice (not maraschino cherries)
- Juice of 2 large oranges (preferably plucked off the tree that morning…and if not please don’t use sunny D)
- 2 good glugs of amaretto liquor (I used Disaronno)
- 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tsp ground mustard
- 2 tsp ground garlic
- 1 tsp sambal* (chili garlic paste – you can use another hot sauce if you don’t have this, but you should get some because it’s delicious)
- 1 tbsp white wine vinegar
- Pinch of salt
In a small sauce pot over medium low heat, add ketchup, cherry juice and orange juice and whisk until combined. Add water and stir again.
Now add everything else except for the salt, sambal and vinegar.
Bring to a simmer and then turn down to low heat and let this cook for 20 min. Whisk again and add the hot sauce and vinegar. Taste and add salt if you need to.
This mixture will thicken to the consistency of a loose BBQ sauce or syrup.
Here’s the finale:
Line up your buns.
Pull the pork out of the oven and notice that it has soaked up all that delicious beery, porky juice. Nice.
Load up your buns. Top with the crunchy slaw and drizzles of bbq sauce. Parsley makes it pretty.
Here’s to a sweet life and amazing dinner. OPA!
In the wake of an untimely and unbeknownst event you might be so inclined to eat more deliciously. Try some of my favorites:
- Ultra Chin Drippingly Divine Meatball Hoagies
- Truffle Mac & Cheese with Roasted Garlic and Mascarpone
- Simple and Perfect Pan Con Tomate
- Roasted Red Pepper Soup with Sweet Brie Grilled Cheese
- Tagliatelle with Sun Dried Tomato Pesto, Hazelnuts and Burrata
- Magic Carnitas
So, every day. Every moment. Use the antique glasses. Drive the classic cars. Drink the good wine on a Tuesday. Turns out, you don’t know how it’s gonna turn out.
*The sambal oelek that I used to buy is nowhere to be found! There are lot’s of delicious chili pastes out there, but this is definitely incentive to make my own. Stay tuned.
