There are only three times in my life I can recall feeling like this.
- When I was 10 months pregnant.
- When I was blissfully wine drunk bumbling around Napa Valley in November of 2018. So impressionable was that moment that it stuck in my memory bank.
- And now. 30,000 feet above the rockies, holding a sleeping angel.
I was going to pee my pants.
It was only a matter of seconds before combustion was certain to occur. The seatbelt sign stayed vibrant. The captain came on. “Flight attendants, please take your seats.” Wonderful. Just what I need. Bladder full and infant peacefully dreaming. Even if I could make it to the bathroom how would I manage, while holding this little baby?*
Legs crossed. Fingers crossed.
The plane drops. Suddenly, what was once my stomach, is now my throat. Our little Boeing 787 is being sucker-punched by the cumunolimbus puffs out the window. I think I’m sea sick.
Buckle up. Don’t think about water. Rain, thunderstorms, rivers, babbling brook…
Trying to distract myself proves to be a futile effort. Turbulence makes having to pee so much worse, right?
Ok. Focus. Focus on something. Anything. The bald spot in front of me. Hello 21a. Hello bald-i-locks. I see you. Hair plugs surround the naked oval staring at me. For a second I feel bad for it. Cold. Alone. I would like to poke it. I refrain. I’m sleep deprived and delirious, but I keep my fingers to myself.
My snuggly infant kicks me in the bladder. Fright wells up in my eyes.
This will make the news. “Woman pees herself on plane”. I will get blacklisted at Delta.
The captain comes on. Refreshments resume. See ya later 21a! I make a B-line for the cockpit bathroom. Victory is mine.
Holy cow, momma needs a margarita. And a pizza.
Feeds 2; Takes your mind off of things and about 25 min.
Ingredients for Margherita Pizza
- First we gotta make the dough, right?! Here is my super simple and scrumptious Beer Dough Recipe – and if you prefer not to use beer, simply swap water in its place.
- 1 large heirloom tomato, sliced thinly
- Handful of fresh basil leaves, torn
- 2 cups full fat mozzarella cheese
- 1/2 cup of my All Day Marinara you probably have in your freezer. Or your fav pizza sauce:)
- 1 tbsp garlic powder
- 1 tbsp dried oregano
- 1 tsp red pepper flakes
- 3 tbsp good olive oil
Method for Pizza Assembly
Preheat your oven to 400F.
On a slightly oiled cast iron pizza pan, stretch out the dough. (You could also do this over a parchment lined sheet tray).
Lightly drizzle the top of the dough with some olive oil and then sprinkle on the garlic powder, oregano and red pepper flakes.
Spoon on your marinara and then top with lots of mozzarella cheese. Nestle tomato slices in cheese.
Bake for 15-17 min, or until golden and bubbling. Top with basil leaves and serve immediately.
* As a woman, traveling alone with an infant on an airplane…Going to the restroom is one of the most hilarious endeavors. #Notrecommended.
Don’t need to pee? Ready to eat? Try my Peach, Fig and Feta Galette. Or this Golden Kiwi and Coconut Açaí Bowl. Looking for more pizza ideas? How about Detroit Style Pizza with Pepperoni, Jalapeños and Honey?
