I will never in my life understand why they talk to you at the dentist. You’re sitting there, gullet vulnerably gaping toward the heavens…dry, uncomfortably wide. Your face, a vestibule for falling oral sputter. Roaring dental instruments melodiously tamper with your shaken encephalon. As the masked giant, poking, prodding, (belittling the extensivity of your gingivitis) peers down, and asks what your summer plans are. !*@#(&$TY@!
Is this some kind of joke? I wish I had fangs.
Prongs provoke a metallic tang. Bleeding ensues. As does the unwelcome dialogue. “Do you have any family vacations coming up?”
Oh, yes, Gina, let’s talk about camping on the coast right now, just as my canines are being power washed.
This is perfect. I love surface level banter – as I choke down any number of chemicals and bodily fluids while trying not to aspirate.
I know, she is trying to be hospitable. But there is a time and a place outside of this recliner. As I would inform my toddler; this is a “quiet zone”. Liken it to a massage. Why, WHY and in what universe does it seem appropriate to strike up conversation when lying naked, beneath a stranger, in a soothing room, on a heated table, filled with restful music and subtle scents? I don’t wanna talk to you, Deborah. I have a child, who never stops speaking. I need silence. And relaxation. Get it? Catch my drift? Feel me? And that last one is only the most literal of what you need to do.
I don’t know what a soap box is, but I feel like I might be on one. So let’s proceed, shall we?
If you see me on the treadmill at the gym…guess what? I’m in the zone. Don’t talk to me. Do not gently pat my shoulder or wave to get my attention. I will fall. I will make eye contact, loose all traction of my speed sprint, and fly into the back wall. At that point in time, I will be very angry. This may or may not have happened in the recent past at a fitness center that shall remain nameless. My pinky toe has been broken for several months now, Mark. Oh but it was great to see you too. Weird, since we live in the same town and go to the same gym at the same time, every weekday.
One more? Why not.
I asked for a quiet table in the back. Something private. I’m alone with my Sauv Blanc and computer. This is a very happy place. My grilled artichoke arrives. As soon as I pick up a leaf to dig in (clean teeth sooo excited for the prospect of lemony deliciousness after the aforementioned, dreaded fluoride)… “How is it?” Prompts from the older ladies at the table over.
I already know a lot about them. One is named Nancy; she drove. The other has been here many times with her friend Marg and she will be ordering the tuna bowl, which surprises Nancy, who is opting for the signature caprese panini. Gail might join them, but we aren’t for sure. Cathy’s home doesn’t have the best flow. Elaine from Stone Gate (not Elaine from Country Home) has a nicer bath tub. Nancy does not enjoy tiny shrimp. She can’t for the life of her imagine how shrimp could be that small. A seemingly physical impossibility.
All of this bobbling around my recently enraptured mind. Trying to focus…
My sliders arrive and the ladies are very taken with the presentation — and how I plan to eat them by myself.
I give in. I’ve lost this one. And they are too genial to ignore.
We share the rest of lunch together. My sauv blanc tells me not to resist the company. They have many stories to share, and I feel like I have a lot to learn from these gals.
They talk to me like we’ve been friends for years. Calling on my nursing experience, we swap stories about Valley Fever and Lynne’s bum foot. They are very impressed with the Open Plate Anthropology Blog. Nancy is somewhat of a social media junkie herself.
I close the computer and we laugh about small shrimp, again, (this time out loud). Then it’s time to go.
I pay for their lunch and hope to run into them again.
Lynne says wants to buy a bay leaf couch. Excellent taste, Lynne. Excellent taste. Next time I will definitely get the tuna bowl.
Until then, Italian Sliders it is. Yum. And yep, I ate em all.
Feeds you and two lovely ol’ gals; Takes 25 min + salad marinating time
Ingredients for Italian Sliders with Radicchio and Olive Salad
- 1 package slider size sweet rolls (12)
- 8-10 slices prosciutto
- 16-20 slices hard salami
- 16-20 slices pepperoni
- 9-12 slices sliced gruyere cheese
- Enough mayo for each slider…
- 1 large radicchio, sliced thinly
- 1 handful mixed, pitted olives, chopped
- 2 tbsp red onion, minced
- 1/2 large roasted red pepper, diced small
- Large handful parsley leaves, roughly chopped
- Enough fresh basil and tarragon to make 2 tbsp each (divided)
- Enough fresh thyme and oregano to make 1 tbsp each (divided)
- 1 tbsp white wine vinegar
- 1 elephant garlic clove, roasted or confit roasted, chopped (divided)
- 2 tbsp salted butter
- Flaked sea salt, pepper, avocado oil
Method for Slider prep
It’s best to make the radicchio and olive salad ahead of time and refrigerate until use, at least 2 hrs, but you can certainly eat it right away if your in a hurry.
Start by combining the radicchio, olives, red pepper, parsley, half the confit garlic, half the basil/tarragon/thyme/oregano and white wine vinegar. Also add a light glug of avocado oil.
Mix well and season with salt and pepper. Refrigerate.
Preheat oven to 400F.
When ready to make, cut the rolls in half horizontally, setting the tops aside.
Line a sheet tray with parchment and a touch of avocado oil, just enough to lightly grease.
Place the bottoms on this parchment. Top with gruyere slices then prosciutto, salami and pepperoni.
Lump big spoonfuls of radicchio salad on top. And then place the top buns on.
Microwave the butter and the other half of the herbs until melted and brush all over the tops. Sprinkle with Maldon.
Bake uncovered for 12-14 minutes until golden and cheese is melted.
Remove and carefully take tops off briefly, just to squeeze on your mayo. Replace and serve immediately.
These are obviously a game day fav…and easy to make for friends, new and old…Need more inspo for eating with others? I got you. (Unless I’m on the treadmill).
- Slow Grilled Ribs with Purple Potato Salad
- Pulled Pork Sandwiches with Cherry Amaretto BBQ Sauce
- “Shark Cuterie” Party Platter
- Mezze with Tzatziki, Crudité, Melitzanosalata and Halloumi Saganaki
- Fried Mozzarella with Pomodoro
