In a land far far away…Removed from the torment and wavering uneasiness of this worldly discontentment, I remember thinking about tacos and wine. And I was happy.
It was a time when I could write enthusiastically about food without the constant imposition of pandemics and race riots and murder hornets and scatological economies breeding indecent, incessant inflation (a macrocosm of futility in the American housing market) rearing their stupid heads.
I could rattle on and on about a delightful dinner I had in Scottsdale or Bend or Hell, anywhere (Michigan). And this is hell for a lot of people.
I used to ramble about a favorite recipe my yiayia made or talk at length with sommeliers at restaurants (eee!) about fun, eclectic recommendations they have for my palate. I could divulge a recipe straight from my imaginative imagery – which now feels more like a mental prison.
I am not an insta-fluencer. I write this blog with my own personal preoccupation with cooking and eating, with great hopes to inspire you to get creative with food as well.
It’s my intimate collection of sarcastic, anecdotal chronicles (which may or may not pertain to a recipe – obviously). And I’ve always been pretty good at sharing…even fries.
Seems lately though, being wrapped in the confines of medicine and N95 masks, I feel a piercing intrusion in my culinary arena.
So today, when I wanted to share with you a recipe for ‘flaco tacos’, instead I was regrettably bombarded with thoughts of scarred lungs and broken hearts.
I couldn’t feel their beats. I couldn’t hear the music.
What could help me come out of my literary penitentiary?
With the notion of ‘vacationing’ or ‘house buying’ or heck! ‘eating with other people’ being relatively off the so-called table, I wondered, “when will I see those relatives?” and “what matters now?” — No, I don’t mean that like some kind of self-indulgent, upper middle class, first world problem question…I mean, (with sincerity) what makes us tick? What makes any of us get up, get out, carry on & look forward too (in what seems like some of the darkest times)?
For me the answer came right back here.
I wrote this post approximately 4 years ago. And I thought about one of the first meals I made when the world ended – in March of 2020. And I’d like to share it with you.
It was a brilliant citrus halibut in parchment.
To me, it represented the daydreams of summer and the passing of delinquent time, back to outside patios with friends and tacos and wine.
Now that we’re here…the grievances all to soon, forgotten. The carnage swiftly swept to the back burner or under the rug or clouded from plain sight. The feeling of ears, unhinged and unharmed from bearing the day’s weight of a paper surgical divider. The shapes of concealed mouths – revealing the glow of yellow, un-flossed teeth become a strangers unhidden smile.
This might be lovely. But be cautious. Be weary. It might be a taco in sheep’s clothing; as this fish would be decadent wrapped in a tortilla just as well.
Takes 45 min; Feeds 6
Ingredients for Citrus Halibut:
- 1 (4-5lb) halibut filets, cut into 6 equal pieces, about 1.5-2 inches thick, skin removed
- 2 large navel oranges, reserve zest of 1, cut the other into thin slices
- 2 large lemons, reserve zest of 1, cut the other into thin slices
- 1 bulb fennel, fibrous outer bulb removed, then shaved on a mandolin, reserve fronds
- 6 (10in x 18in) sheets of parchment paper
Ingredients for Garlic Oil:
- 4 large cloves garlic, ground finely with a pinch of salt in a mortar and pestle
- 3 hefty glugs of good California olive oil
- Pinch of red pepper flakes
Method for Fish Preparation:
In a small sauce pan, heat all ingredients of the garlic oil together on med low heat, being careful not to burn. This should warm for about 30 min.
While this is cooking, set up your assembly line…
Stack all 6 sheets of parchment at the front of the line. We will do these individually:
Brush a good amount of infused garlic oil on the first sheet.
Place one fillet on the paper; about 1/3 from the left edge, and then brush fish with a bit of the oil too.
Salt.
Decorate fish with 3-5 fennel slices, then citrus zest.
Finally dress the top with 2 orange and 2 lemon rounds and then with fronds.
You will do the same thing for all 6 fish packs.
When you are ready to seal the packages, fold in half over the fillet. From the left bottom, corner bring the parchment edges together and crimp inwards with your fingers, twisting the paper upwards to create a tight seal. Do this all the way up to the top and flip the last bit of paper underneath. Your packages will look like half moons.
Bake at 350F degrees for 18 minutes (depending on your fish thickness) on a sheet tray. Present the fish in the parchment and cut a small slit in the top, being careful when the steam releases.
So, you see, while the moment may just be what we perceive it is…and the days might be uncertain…I can assure you (if you listen hard enough) you’ll see too, this is not the day (or even the year) the music died.
Ok – You want tacos? Here are some with Lime & Chicken. Or Open Flame Fajita Tacos…OOo….What about Homemade Crunch Wraps?? How about some Coconut, Sambal Shrimp Tostadas? I have Steak & Pepper Quesadillas that you will dream about.
