That curser blinks at me. Repeatedly. Are you winking? Am I reading the room wrong? Blink. One eyed, open mouthed wink. It doesn’t matter. One of the most underrated events in life is traveling alone; No one to entertain, no one to judge you drinking at the bar pre 9am. (*This is only acceptable in very few locations as you may recognize: beaches, bachelorette rendezvous, casinos and airports.) Places where time does not exist or matter or both. Also the suitability of drinking anything other than bubbly sparkling wine at such occasions are often times utterly uppety, snot nosed, looked down on. Is it so bad to have a Belvedere martini? Am I less of a person if I opt for the local double IPA? The judgement call is yours. But for me? The decisions made by that jury are boring and blurry.
I’m traveling alone across the country. 4+ hours on a plane with earbuds in. Window seat with the optimal viewing stance. I refuse to close the damn thing. I lie to row cohorts. “I get nauseated if I can’t see out.” Sorry B & C, I need light.
Not trying to be rude. Just enveloping myself in the brief flash of personal time. The only amount I have had in 2 years – But don’t get me wrong. I miss them. Most of the flight is spent looking at photos of them. Videos of the little golden girl who melts my heart and the man who stole it. I miss them terribly, actually.
In the midst of the day though, I look out the window, without reluctance. Without worry. I feel like a bird, as candy ass as that sounds. Carefree for only a glimmer.
A very observant flight attendant understands my post. She, herself, has been here. Without so much as a look, she offers me a second drink, On her. No doubt she is a mother. And what a tremendous amount she understands. “A real nurturer”, I thought. She knew I needed mothering on this long haul. She sat in my seat. She missed her kid. She felt bad for drinking early and alone, but only for a second. And then she felt better. – Maybe even allowed. – Maybe even deserved. Justified to be in the last window seat, open and blustery, contenting her heart with written words and good music and enveloping elixir.
What the heck? The plane is just an extension of the airport. She threw me a line. And I bit.
It can be a weathered place, motherhood? I guess it really has to be a question. Will I get it right? I try. I work hard at it. I do all that I know to protect and prosper the little glimmer of purpose in my hands. I grew a limb of patience and a heart of yearning, a mind of will and an ability to deflect negative intention. I placed a living, beautiful being in the midst of this trembling earth. How terrifying.
I hadn’t slept for 16 months…Straight. I was more anxious than the night could accommodate. The deep, pitting, needed slumber tempted me, but I refused. I refuted. I had to keep her safe. And then one day, I awoke. And all was ok. And I cried.
Traveling alone might never be the same, and I’m ok with that. I prefer to be with those two who hold my heart. But it did feel so nice to hob nob with myself again. I like you. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to make lunch and take a nap.
Takes 30 min; Feeds just you and your solo cup (for 2 meals;)
Ingredients and Method for Arugula Salad and Lemon Oil
- 3 cups arugula
- 1 cup spinach, chopped
- 1/2 cup parsley leaves, roughly chopped
- 3-4oz parmesan (I like to shave it right off the block with potato peeler)
- 1 scallion, cut into small rounds
- Juice of half a lemon
- Salt & good olive oil (about 3 tbsp)
In a large bowl mix together the arugula, spinach and parsley.
In a small bowl whisk together the lemon juice, scallions and olive oil. Season with salt to your liking.
Set everything aside until the chicken is ready.
Ingredients and Method for Chicken Milanese
- 2 fresh chicken breasts, trimmed halved lengthwise
- Maldon sea salt
- 1 cup corn starch (or all purpose flour)
- 2 eggs
- 2 tbsp water
- 2 cups panko bread crumbs
- 1/2 cup canola oil
- Salt and pepper
Lay out some plastic wrap on your counter or working surface and place all 4 chicken breasts on it. Pat the chicken dry with a paper towel. Season the top of each breast with a sprinkle of Maldon sea salt and then cover the tops with more plastic wrap.
Pound the breasts to tenderize the meat. I like them very thin (about a 1/2 inch thick – and make sure they are all the same so your cooking time is all the same.)
Arrange 3 wide lipped bowls. In the first bowl is the corn starch. In the second bowl mix the eggs and water until homogenous. The third bowl is the panko seasoned with salt (1 tsp) and pepper (1/2 tsp).
Heat canola oil in a large frying pan to high heat.
Using tongs, dredge the chicken breasts individually (both sides) into the cornstarch, then the egg wash, and finally the panko.
You should hear a nice sizzle when you drop the meat in the pan. Turn down the heat to medium high and cook on the first side until golden brown ~ 5 min.
Flip and fry the other side for anther 7-8 min, or until the internal temp is 160F. (*Chicken needs to be cooked to 165F but it will continue to cook while you let it rest for 8-10 min before serving).
Dress the salad with the lemon, scallion oil and toss. Top with parmesan shavings.
Slice the chicken and serve right away.
Like eating alone? I got lots of ideas:
- Personal White Pizzetas with Lemon Ranch
- Apple, Cheddar and Agave Biscuit Sandwiches
- Sesame, Garlic and Broccoli Grilled Cheese
- 4am Meatball Hoagies
- Pan Con Tomate
- Fried Mozzarella with Pomodoro
