I’m no frenchman. In fact, I’m not french at all. No, I’m not 100% sure (like the zillions of you out there paying to give your DNA to the government – don’t get me started) but I’m pretty sure, and that’s good enough.
I’m also not a man. Just to clear that up.
But I love the french. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the french.
I love french food, all delicate and petite-like that consistently leaves you wallowing with pangs of hunger and despair after paying an exorbitant amount of money towards the abrasive meal of foam and lard you just consumed.
I love the sensual accent dripping off the waiter’s lips with crass, patronizing undertones.
I love the way they make cheese that smells like feet and insecurity that will cost you upwards of $100/gram. I really, really do.
Patisserie, brasserie, creperie…Come on, how can you pass up anything that sounds that sexy? You can’t. You’ve tried, you’ve failed. It’s ok.
One time, I got food poisoning from the quiche lorraine at Charles De Gaulle Airport. And here’s what I learned: It was my fault.
It was so delicious, there was no part of my jet-lagged body that wasn’t completely mesmerized by the fresh swiss cheese and jambon.
SIX cataclysmically brutal days of vomiting throughout the entirety of Italy later…I was finally better. (And likely the only person who has ever lost weight on a food and wine binging expedition in Europe.)
Once alive again I craved all the tasty morsels I watched dance by me restaurant after restaurant, vineyard after vineyard. So I sought out to make my very own Niçoise Salad.
Sorely deprived of any nutrients, I needed to fill my grumbly tummy with crisp, decadent veggies, instead of jumping back on the lardon wagon.
Niçoise salad originated in Nice, France (according to wikipedia).
Which makes sense, right? How nice?
It’s a provencal melding of ingredients including; haricot verts, boiled eggs, tomatoes and anchovy dressing, alongside what ever meat or seafood you desire. It can be mixed or deconstructed which I find to be rather visually supreme.
And as you can see, I didn’t exactly play by the rules.
I used asparagus instead of green beans.
Avocado made an appearance.
And I had some tuna – Ahi to be precise, that just goes well with sesame.
Maybe I’m cheating. Maybe I’m improvising. Maybe I’m a makeshift kinda french girl. But you know what? Burgundy or Bordeaux, Sémillon or Chenin Blanc…they all go nicely.
And I haven’t given myself food poisoning once.
Feeds 4; Takes 1hr
Ingredients for Niçoise:
- 1-2 large tuna steaks, grilled and chopped in large chunks
- 8 medium/hard boiled eggs
- 4-6 large gold potatoes or 10 small ones
- 1 bunch of fresh asparagus (fibrous ends removed)
- 1 avocado, sliced
- 2 handful small heirloom tomatoes
- 1 handful castelvetrano olives
- 1 large scallion, diced
- 3-4 radishes, sliced on a mandolin
- Kosher salt, pepper and good Italian olive oil
- 1 tbsp dark sesame oil
- 1 tbsp white and black sesame seeds
- 2 sprigs fresh rosemary, minced
- 2 sprigs fresh thyme, minced
- 2 tbsp dried or fresh oregano (prefer fresh, and yes it’s strong!) minced
- 3 cloves minced garlic
- 1 tbsp onion powder
- 1 tbsp baking soda
Ingredients for Anchovy Vinaigrette:
- Shut up – anchovies are not scary – they are a little salty delicious bite.
- 2 tbsp anchovy paste or 2 muddled little fish
- 1 lemon, juiced
- 1/3 – 1/2 cup good Italian olive oil
- 1 tbsp dijon mustard
- 2 tbsp delicious french wine (like the one your drinking, presumably, such as Chenin Blanc)
- 1 tsp garlic, minced
- Kosher salt, pepper
Method for Potatoes:
Option 1 – Herb Roasted Spuds:
Heat oven to 400F degrees. Dice potatoes and cover with olive oil, salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, garlic and onion powder. Cook for 50 min, flipping every 10.
Option 2 – Mimolette Smashed Potatoes:
Recipe Coming Soon.
Method for Dressing and Rest of Salad
Add all vinaigrette ingredients (except olive oil and wine) into a mixing bowl. Mix until blended well. Add wine. Mix again. Consider dancing to sir mix-alot. Now you can add the olive oil, slowly, to get the consistency you desire. Taste to make sure the seasoning is on point.
Pierce eggs with your handy dandy egg piercer. Place them in a pot and cover with water until just submerged.
Bring the uncovered pot to a boil and then turn off, cover and remove from the heat. Allow them to rest for 10 min.
Immediately place eggs in ice bath afterwards.
Coat the tuna in olive oil and sesame oil and sprinkle with salt/pepper. Make sure the grill is medium/high heat prior to adding tuna. Cook for 2 min per side, just enough to color the outside and ensure a rare core.
Grill asparagus with olive oil, salt and a splash of sesame oil too, if using – about 5 min.
Slice radishes on mandolin.
Peel and slice eggs.
Slice tuna into thick strips. Arrange salad with tomatoes, olives, avocado slices, eggs, scallions, potatoes or whatever else you have decided to bring to the party. Dress with vinaigrette and sesame seeds.
Plate like you’re a portly french chef in a disturbingly tall, white hat.
Eat.
You get it. This is a kitchen sink kind of salad. Use what you want to eat. Eat it with people you don’t want to eat.
Nothing like a little cannibal humor after the end of a delicious salad, am I right? Do I need to say I’m joking? I’m joking.
Feeling a different salad vibe tonight? Here’s my recipe for Panzanella or Jacked Up Caprese🙂 Or how about Winter Salad with Charred Radicchio and Ricotta? I know you’re gonna wanna try my Life Saving Sticky Citrus Chicken.
