I’m stuck. The motivation beckons in my bleak minds’ eye…”Find me.” I hear you. I’m searching, but I’m cold. Ice cold.
I want to tell you all about this. I wanted to shout it from the roof tops! “I want, I want!” I sound like the ultimate proverbial millennial. Not for me though, well, not entirely.
For you!…You see, I know you would be better knowing about it. Hearing, reading, scouring, devouring it. It’s not me, it’s you. I’m trying to tell you. Coax me in. Don’t cut me off.
I’m still stuck, cemented..but I’m cracking. Getting warmer.
I wanna let it go. “Oh, there she goes again.”
How typical, right? Changing my mind right in the middle of things. You are correct. I’m seeded in this. But there is something bigger than me at play. Something coercing me to proclaim this mighty secret from the depths of my insides to the boundless entities of the internet’s, entitled, elite fingertips. (All my readers are elite, Oui?)
You are good. Boy, are you good. You are somehow, threading it out of me. Pulling, ever so gently, like you would on a roll of one ply toilet paper adhering to itself in a late summer campground bathroom.
And you know, patience prevails. This doesn’t bother you. I can see that. I’m impressed. I’m the loser now. Just like the aforementioned TP. It’s getting balmy.
I open the fridge for the 85th time. Nothing has changed. I stare blankly into its solemn and frosty abyss. Only olives, a half eaten block of sharp cheddar, leftover halibut and three zucchinis.
Holy Moses! I feel a searing pain bursting in my side. The vibrant, electrical fever of a scalding hot poker. We are hot!! HOT…Do you know what I mean? I’m talking Moab in August HOT> Fry your egg on the sidewalk HOT > Jason Mamoa in a cod piece HOT…Sweltering…Need I say more?
Chocolate zucchini bread. Steaming, NAY! Piping HOT from the oven. Topped with dollops of cinnamon, mascarpone whipped cream.
Whew. It’s scorching in here. Mama’s thirsty. I need a glass of milk.
Takes 1 hr; Feeds you (and hopefully) Jason Mamoa (in a cod piece)
Ingredients for Chocolate Zucchini Bread
- 1 1/2 cups AP flour
- 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
- 1/2 cup white sugar
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tsp ground cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp nutmeg, preferably freshly ground
- 1/4 tsp cardamom
- 1 zucchini, ends trimmed off, grated on a box grater, moisture reserved
- 1+ cups milk chocolate chips
- 3 tbsp melted salted butter
- 1/4 canola oil
- 2 eggs
- Dash of good vanilla
Ingredients/Method for Cinnamon Mascarpone Whipped Cream
- 1/3 cup mascarpone cheese, room temp
- Dash of good vanilla
- 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
- 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
- 4 tbsp white sugar
Combine all ingredients in clean KitchenAid mixing bowl with whisk attachment. Start on low and increase speed to medium high whipping all ingredients together.
Watch until soft but sturdy peaks form ~ 2-3 min.
Top with extra cinnamon and refrigerate until needed.
Method for Bread
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
Combine all dry ingredients into a Kitchen Aid mixer fitted with the paddle attachment.
In another small bowl combine eggs, butter, oil and vanilla. Mix.
Turn machine on to slow and allow the dry ingredients to mix for a minute. Slowly add the wet ingredients and increase speed to medium.
Once the wet and dry are combined, the mixture will look dry, crumbly and inconsistent – You have it right where you want it.
Add zucchini and mix again. The moisture from them will turn this into a smooth and muffin like batter.
Now stir in the chocolate chips manually, until just incorporated.
Pour in a greased loaf pan and add additional chips to top if desired.
Bake, uncovered for 45 min.
Serve with butter or whipped cream. Voila!
PS – if you would rather make muffins, grease your muffin tin and bake for only 20 min.
It’s hot, it’s dreamy. And I’m not just talking about Mr. Mamoa.
Want more sugary, utopian delights? How about:
- Plantain and Cardamom Muffins
- Peach and Banana Acaí Bowls with Coconut and Golden Kiwi
- Corn and Poblano Fritters with Raspberry Crème Fraîche
- Guava and Cheese Pastelitos
*P.S. I’m very happily married. Sorry Jason.
