There was a knock at the door. It was 0500. Frankfurt, Germany. Circa 1999.
Hissing cries start streaming out of the cradle next to me. My sister is 14 months old.
I am in no mood for this. “Can someone get the door?” (I mean like besides the blonde haired, blue eyed, rosy cheeked preteen {me}…I might have been sleepy, but I was also entirely certain I would be abducted in this scenario.)
Less than sober family members slept on silently, cocooned in a slumber of German beer and jet lag.
“Ok, no problem, I’ll get it…But if I get kidnapped you’re all gonna feel terrible!” Not a stir. Even the baby gave up.
“Scheibe!” (SHYZA for our purposes.)
I trip over my uncle. “Comfy there?”
I get to the door. Before I even open it. A fragrance so intoxicating envelopes my entire oronasopharynx. It is a bouquet of pillowy dough. Warming. Freeing. So comforting.
It is the best thing I have ever smelled.
I feel my body lifting off the ground. Spinning smells of sensual seduction. There is a light from under the door.
Am I dying? Is this heaven? (I was sure of it).
I was wrong. Whoever was here to snatch me, snatch no more! I’m yours! Let us hold hands in holy matrimony. Take me to your magical Bavarian bakery land.
Door opened. I was Alone. On the mat was a small basket with a newspaper wrapped gift.
I opened it.
Soft, steaming hot pretzels.
I sat outside in the utopian European summer sunrise and ate 3. (I was a gangly 13 year old. I could afford it.)
Who was the mystical figure, this angelic pastry wizard, this genial breakfast sorcerer? I may never know. But Ich Liebe Dich.
Shall we make our own soft pretzels?? But of course.
Feeds 6-8, Takes 45 min
Ingredients for Pretzels
- 2 1/4 cup ap flour
- 3 tsp canola oil
- 1 package yeast (2 1/4 tsp)
- 2 tsp turbinado sugar
- 1 cup warm water
- 1 tsp kosher salt
- 1 cup baking soda
- 8-10 cups water
- 4 tbsp salted butter, melted and divided
- Maldon or other flaked salt, mustards
Ingredients for Bavarian Raclette (Beer Cheese Dip)
- 8-10oz raclette cheese, shredded
- 4oz Oktoberfest beer
- 6oz cheddar cheese, shredded
- 1/2 cup half and half, plus more for reheating
- 2 tbsp salted butter
- 2 tbsp ap flour
- 1 tsp cayenne pepper
- 1 tbsp stone ground mustard
- 2 dashes Worcestershire sauce
- 3 scallions (just the green parts), diced
- Salt and pepper
Method For Your Oktoberfest Spread
Beer cheese sauce – here we go!
In a sauce pan over medium heat make your roux (whisking 2 tbsp butter and flour together until combined).
Add beer and 1/2 and 1/2, continuing to stir. Add salt. The mixture should be getting a bit thick (it should coat the back of a spoon). If it’s not there yet, you can turn up the heat a bit, making sure to stir constantly and not scald your mixture.
Turn the heat back down to med/low.
Add cheese, Worcestershire and mustard. Taste! Add cayenne, if desired.
If you are going to reheat this at a later time, you will likely need to add a bit more half and half or beer.
Let’s make the pretzels!
In a bowl, combine the 1 cup warm water, sugar and yeast. Stir and allow to sit (bloom) for 10 min.
In a food processor, mix canola oil, kosher salt and flour.
Add yeast mixture and mix with the dough hook attachment until a dough ball forms (about 2 min).
Knead the dough ball for another minute by hand and smooth into a ball again. Place in a clean bowl covered with a kitchen towel for 30-40 minutes.
Pre heat oven to 400 degrees farenheit.
Roll out your dough into a log shape with a rolling pin dusted with flour.
Cut the log into 8 pieces. Meanwhile, heat 8-10 cups water to a boil on the stove.
This dough is very elastic and doesn’t break easily.
Roll out each piece into a long worm (about 12 inches). Form into whatever shapes you like. See note* for how to roll into a classic pretzel shape. Baste with butter.
Once the water is boiling, turn down to a simmer and add the baking soda.
Carefully dunk pretzels 1-2 at time in the water bath for 60 seconds. Flipping at least once.
Remove with a slotted spoon or spider and place on a parchment lined sheet tray.
(Now would be a good time to heat up your raclette dip on low heat).
Brush the tops of the pretzels with 2 tbsp melted butter (second time). Bake for 15 min, turning the tray 1 time.
Turn oven up to 450 degrees and bake another 5-7 min.
Remove and brush with the rest of the melted butter and salt. Yes, you baste them with butter for a third time.
Serve with Raclette dip topped with scallions and mustard.
There was a robbery that happened that day – several of my family members lost out on their portion of this decadent treat.
And as the sole hijacker in that morning’s events, I am not even a little bit sorry.
As they say, “mensch ärger dich nicht!”
*To make a classic pretzel shape, roll into a long worm. Take the 2 ends in each hand and pull them towards you, creating a horseshoe shape. Then twist the ends twice and press the ends up to the top of the horseshoe.
Like bread? Try my homemade White Bread. Or these divine Black Pepper Biscuits (with Sausage Gravy). Like beer and bread? How about this super versatile Beer Infused Pizza Dough?
